How Can I Help MySelf?

On Sunday night, all I could think about was "I wish someone would just help me out once in a while." What I mean is, with so much garbage going on lately, I wish I had someone to truly confide in to pray with me and for me. I want to have someone to just be there for me when I need help and when I need to let everything out of my heart. But, then the thought popped into my head. "If I rely on someone to always help me, then I'll never grow to be able to help myself."

My mom says that whenever a thought that you would never think of by yourself, pops up, then it's God speaking to you. I guess I believe that.

I believe God was telling me that I need to learn to handle and tackle things on my own. Learn to rely God and call out to him, without having to go through another person.

There is a man I know who has somewhat addressed this with me in a few conversations. He has a high goals for himself, and to reach them, he needs to have the experiences he has now to help grow into the man he wants to be. He puts himself through trials without backing out, to help himself for a life he desires to lead. That really impacted me.

It might seem stupid, but I've come to find that all my life I've counted on my mom praying for me or my brother when they saw I was hurting. As a child, I would be terrified of different things, but I never wanted to meet the problem head on. I would just think "Well, I know my mom prays for my safety, so I'm good." But I've realized that depending on everyone else wont cut it for real life.

In 2 years I will graduate from school. 4 years after that I plan on having a college degree in whatever field the Lord puts me in. I also want to get married. Have children, and maybe even a pet or two There are many responsibilities. A job, a husband, kids, a house, cars, bills, etc. They will fall on me. They will fall on me to be able to handle. But, to do so, I myself, need to build up on my relationship with God, through Christ and furthermore construct a solid foundation for life as I know it.

Although, I do believe having someone to be able to consult and share with is very important, but I can't throw my Christian responsibilities over to them.